All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from Watching Rocky

7/27/03, Somewhere in Indiana

When Rob Lowe first toured the country in '03, he was privvy to this spectacular list.

All I ever needed to know I learned from watching Rocky

• If you want to do something well, you need good music playing in the background
• Even though you might be smaller, you can still win (though you'll probably end up with brain damage)
• Friends do because they want to do
• We CAN get along with the Russians
• There's nothing wrong with being afraid
• Mickey loves you
• You're gonna eat lightening and crap thunder
• Don't lift heavy bags of dog food when you're 9 months pregnant
• Don't put Paulie in charge of ANYTHING (aka, Never let your accountants steal all your money)
• A robot can be a perfect companion for a bum.
• Sometimes your best friend can give you a black eye
• James Brown has still got it
• When your friend is getting the ever-lovin' tar beat out of him, THROW THE TOWEL!
• Russian chess players are bad losers
• Spirit wins over steriods

Scrabble Time with Funny Glasses

Larry and Steve show off their smashing glasses

Ah yes. So very classy.

Biz kicked my butt at our made up game, Bupesleeves.

I really love these glasses!

Scrabble. The reason for it all.

"In Scrabble, it's not just the thought that counts."

It's time to celebrate FESTIVUS!

For those that may not be familiar with the Festivus holiday, let me steal some inspiration from Wikipedia and share some Festivus facts.

Festivus is an annual holiday celebrated around Christmas invented by some guy named Dan O'Keefe. It probably would not have been as famous as it is if it weren't for his son Daniel, who happened to be a writer for Seinfeld. Daniel wrote Festivus into an episode of Seinfeld and the rest is history.

Every holiday has its schtick, and Festivus is no different. Rather than a Christmas tree, Festivus celebrators honor the aluminum Festivus Pole. Festivus includes novel practices such as the Airing of Grievances, where each person tells everyone else all of the ways they have disappointed him or her over the last year. After the Festivus meal, the Feats of Strength are performed, involving wrestling the head of household to the floor. Traditionally, Festivus does not end until the host has been pinned.

So why, in a website dedicated to lugging wooden Rob Lowe around the country, am I yammering on and on about some half-fake holiday? This past holiday season, inspired by an afternoon of beers at the Old Bay, Steve and I decided that we should host a Festivus party. We really do have the perfect setup for such a party. The stripper pole in our living room is easily converted into a Festivus pole. The fireplace gives a perfect opportunity for not just the Airing of Grievances, but our new twist on the tradition -- the Burning of Grievances. None of the literature I found on Festivus indicated what the traditional Festivus meal entailed, but I just had a hunch that it should include something made in a crock pot. Armed with the pole, the fireplace, and the crock pot, we slapped together a guest list and gave our guests about a week's notice for our Festivus Party. (The party was actually on December 15; my blogging is seriously behind. Oops.)

The Festivus party was a success. Rob's favorite part was by far the Burning of Grievances. Rather than bring the party down by telling everyone how they let us down throughout the year, we decided to go in a different direction and simply write down and burn things that bothered us. One guest even went so far as to solicit grievances from her co-workers, and showed up at Festivus with a stack ready to be read aloud and burned. The Burning of Grievances will be included in all future Festivus celebrations for sure.

Enjoy the Festivus pictures, and sorry for the delay in posting them!

The Festivus Pole, decorated with ribbon and balloons.

Radha and Rob

Jodi, Jenn, and Rob

Keith, Jen, and Rob

Kelly burns her grievances, along with a healthy pile o' grievances from her colleagues.

Steve prepares to burn his grievances.

Jodi gets ready to toss her grievance away.

Oh Jenn, kiss your grievance goodybye.

On a sad note, my Ridiculous Green Getup was also burned that night. For those not in the know about the Ridiculous Green Getup, it was my "fancy outfit" that I had in reserve from back in the day when I worked for the ad agency (I will not include the colorful nicknames we all have for this place, as this is the internet and she might find this site one day). Whenever a client came in, or whenever I went on a client meeting, I had to dress up. Since I hate dressing up, I purchased this one outfit and cringed every time I had to wear it. I dubbed it my Ridiculous Green Getup. I have not had the need nor the urge to wear it since I resigned my position there and became a teacher. The Burning of Grievances offered me the perfect opportunity to let it burn, baby, burn! Bye bye, Ridiculous Green Getup!

Rob learns how to make Hungarian kalacs

Every November I get together with my mother and we make kalacs, a Hungarian pastry that my grandfather used to make. Rob wanted to learn how to make them too so he came along.

The dough is rolled out and in this case, apricot butter will be the filling

Nice job, Rob!

Flat Rob, meet Flat Stanley

While Rob was visiting Tombstone, AZ with Heather, Eric, and I, he encountered another flat traveling buddy, Flat Stanley. For those not familiar with Flat Stanley, he is the character of a children's book. Stanley Lambchop was flattened by a bulletin board, but instead of bemoaning his new flat state he began using it to his advantage by slipping under doors and pretending to be a kite for his younger brother. (No, I don't really know all of this first-hand; I'm getting it right from Wikipedia).

A teacher in Canada began the Flat Stanley Project, having his students make their own Flat Stanleys and mail them out to friends and relatives, who were instructed to take Flat Stanley somewhere, take a picture with him, and write about their adventures. Flat Stanley makes his rounds and then somehow (not sure of all the details) returns to his original owner, who then gets to read about all of the good times Flat Stanley had. The Flat Stanley Project is supposed to get kids interested in reading and writing.

Anyway, for those of you that are familiar with Rob Lowe's travels, doesn't this sound awfully familiar? Granted, I'm not a little kid. And true, I don't entrust Rob to other people to give him adventures and write about them; I take that task on myself. But still, the basic similarities are pretty clear: take a flat man, drive him around, take pictures of him, and write about it. That's totally the operation Rob and I have going on!

After four years having adventures with Rob Lowe, we finally got to meet a Flat Stanley out and about. Flat Stanley was enjoying a nice November day in Tombstone, AZ when we found him. Flat Rob and Flat Stanley -- if only we could have listened on on their conversation...

Even Toby wants his picture with Rob Lowe

Chloe, Toby, and Mabel

Rob and the International Wildlife Museum

Rob, always one to use his connections, asked Kristine if she could get us into the International Wildlife Museum (where she is the education curator). She said yes! So the next day, Heather and I took Rob to learn all about international wildlife.

Our wildlife education started with snakes. We got to hold the snakes. I held the first snake (no picture submitted because I look like a dork) and then politely informed our education curator friend that no thanks, I don't need to hold any more. Heather was less of a weenie and held everything there was to hold.

I think this is right after I freaked out and couldn't hold the snake anymore. I think Kristine is trying not to laugh at me. She's nice that way. Thanks, Kristine.

Snakes -- I don't hold them. But turtles? I love turtles! Hi, turtle! Speaking of turtles... the Yankees have signed my turtle boyfriend catcher Jorge Posada for another few hears. Hooray, Turtle!

"Look at my horns!"

Heather and I were very taken in with this one particular elk. I promised Heather that if I put the picture of her kissing the elk on here, I'd also post one of me doing it. So here we are, in all of our elk-kissing glory.
P.S. Kristine -- we really loved your museum, can't you tell?

Rob enjoys Tucson's fine dining

After the Pima Air & Space Museum (and a few games of Scrabble, of course) we took Rob out on the town for dinner. We went to a place called El Parador. Sounds fancy, doesn't it? We met up with Heather's friends Kristine and Rachel. They were very much looking forward to meeting Rob. Who wouldn't be?

Rachel, Kristine, Heather, and Rob after dinner

Our waiter had a great sense of humor. He played along with us when we set Rob up at one of the empty chairs at the table. He even brought Rob a glass of water. That's a good waiter right there. I can understand catering to the imaginations of small children and talking to their imaginary friends, but we were four grown women pretending to be out with Rob Lowe. Hopefully he saw us as whimsical, eccentric, yet sane people. Or maybe he called the Shady Pines Mental Institution right after we left to see if they were missing any patients. We'll never know.

Rob at the Pima Air & Space Museum

I went to Tucson, AZ over our fall break at school. Rob came too. Interesting fact -- his flat nature allows him to fit quite nicely inside of my suitcase. I didn't have to go through answering questions about my travel companion at the security checkpoint. Hooray!

While Heather and I were on our way to the Pima Air and Space Museum, we rode behind a truck with a mirrored backside. Jeez, you'd think the two of us had never seen a mirror before. Look at how dorky we are, driving behind this thing and taking pictures.

Who, me? Am I dangerous?

Here you'll see our Nixon impressions at the top of the stairs to Air Force One. I am not a crook!

Ever see that episode of ER (back when it was good) when Dr. Romano gets his arm sliced off by the helicopter? Ok, so this is an airplane. We tried to recreate it as best as we could.

I'm touching the plane. Shhhh, don't tell anyone!

There was a display to honor the astronauts from the Challenger explosion. Ah, y'all know it by now... "Christa McAuliffe... Teacher. And American Hero."