Visiting Illinois

On my trek back home, I got the chance to visit my family in Illinois. It was a nice change of pace to unload my suitcase into an actual house instead of into some highway hotel.

As my cousin Joyce was kind enough to explain, Illinois is "the land of emo kids and cornfields."

We went to a fair. I had to take this picture because I thought the potato looked like Mr. Hanky (The Christmas Poo) from South Park.

No one would ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl, so my Aunt Jo Ann took one for the team and rode with Sarah.

Greatest license plate!

Sarah and Rob, friends forever.

Rob's Great Google Project

I had an idea. I tried to Google the phrase Travels with Rob just to see how and where it would come up. This blog was the first entry on the second page of results.

Rob was not happy with this. He wants to be higher up.

So if you're still reading this... and I hope some people still are... please go to Google and type in the phrase Travels with Rob, and then when the results come up, select this blog.

Thanks, fans of Rob!

Rob meets Iowa corn

When I got into Iowa, one of the first things I saw was this Darland tractor trailer, which is a funny little Dar Williams coincidence. (For those not in the know, there is an artist named Dar Williams, and she sings a song called "Iowa")

The Darland tractor trailer was a lucky find for another reason -- it enabled me to distinguish between Iowa corn and Nebraska corn. If it weren't for that tractor trailer, I'm not sure if I could tell the difference, to be honest with you...

Here's a chain of gas / convenience stores in Iowa. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Rob meets Nebraska corn

Though I have no proof of this, Rob really did travel through Nebraska. As I said in the previous post, I was fairly intent on making it back to New Jersey at this point in the trip. I miss my bed. I miss my friends. I miss the attitude of Jersey residents.

I'm glad I got off of the interstate to take some corn shots, but I didn't want to disturb Rob from his slumber to make him see the corn. I hope he forgives me for this.

Driving through Utah

Here I am, driving from Bryce Canyon back to the interstate. It was pouring rain at Bryce, but once I left it was pretty nice. Thinking the weather was making a turn for the better, I even turned my car around and went back to Bryce. Sadly it was still raining there. I was just destined to see Bryce in the rain that day, I guess. Anyway, I took the above picture while I was driving. I took a lot of the upcoming pictures while I was driving, because Utah, for whatever reason, marked a turning point in the trip. This was the point where I was just ready to be back in New Jersey, sleeping in my own bed with my own pillow. I stopped bringing Rob out of the car for photo ops and I just starting making like a bread truck and hauling buns back east.

I took the above and the next few pictures at a random scenic viewpoint off of I-70 in Utah. Admittedly I was starting to really miss New Jersey by this point, but this particular place made me feel like I was not even on this planet. I swear, I felt like I was on Mars or something. The scenery I had been driving through for hours, coupled with the bizarre yet breath-taking views I saw at this overlook, made me feel slightly ill. A strange and alarming side effect of the beauty of Utah, true, yet that's what I had going on inside of me.

Really... this isn't from Earth! This is from Mars! I felt ill!

Red Canyon and Bryce Canyon

Here's Red Canyon, a tiny but spectacular park that lies between Zion and Bryce National Parks. I didn't even know about it until I was going through it. I liked it.

Here starts the Bryce Canyon pictures. Unfortunately it was raining heavily when I was there and it was a bit difficult to maneuver the camera and the umbrella, so I didn't take that many pictures or stop at that many overlooks. From what I saw, there are some pretty amazing parts of Bryce Canyon and I will be visiting there again someday with Rob. I know he hasn't been in too many of the most recent pictures, but rest assured he was right there with me in the car. He just didn't come out in the rain.

Rob's Cross Country Yambag Dictionary

I can't really explain my fascination with the word YAMBAG. I use it a lot. It's an odd little word, and since it's so nonsensical it can't really be considered a curse word. Maybe I get this ability to use non-curse words in a curse word setting from my mother, who brought the phrases CRINCKLEFACE, GOD BLESS AMERICA, and OH, CHRISTMAS TREES into my life.

Next time you're driving and someone cuts you off, get a little creative and call them a yambag from the comforts of your car. Next time you feel like you've gotten the shaft from the customer service department of the phone company, shout "YAMBAGS!" over and over while you wait on hold. Next time you have a bad experience at the DMV, you can walk away muttering "What a bunch of yambags." (I gotta give a little plug here for the new Motor Vehicle Commission in New Jersey, however. The last few times I've gone in for something, I had a quick and pleasant experience)

Anyway, while driving across the country both alone and with friends, we came up with some location-specific adaptations to the yambag. Here they are. Feel free to add comments with areas I haven't covered. The only rule is that whatever replaces YAM has to be one syllable.

LOCATION --- NEW BAGS --- WHY?
Florida --- sunbags --- lots o' sun
New Orleans --- crawbags --- lots o' crawfish on the menu
Texas --- hornbags --- lots o' longhorn cattle
Vegas --- slotbags --- duh
California --- sproutbags --- they eat sprouts there
Utah --- morbags --- lots o' Mormons
Nebraska --- cornbags --- lots o' corn


That's all we came up with. I now open it up to you. Places you've lived or seen... make your own yambag concoction! Leave comments! Yambags, unite!